So i’ve lied to him… countless of times. I’ve hurt him to the maximum level. I know I don’t deserve mercy and i don’t even ask for it now. I am the most terrible person in the world, and I promise you that this is the last post i’m ever gonna make. I don’t want any more misunderstandings, as if I’m diverting myself to being the victim in this situation when all i did was explain my side of the story. But i know, that i am crap. I am a liar. I am a fucking asshole who just keeps on breaking his heart. I know that. And i hella regret it all. With all this, considering how he reacted to my previous blog post, i just won’t even show my face to him anymore. I can’t even show my face to him in the first place but this, no. I can’t. Take note that i’m not running away from him. I’m not running away from the situation but this is the only possible way to give him justice from what i did. I’ve done so many things to him that I can’t even imagine myself going through all of it. But i know that enough is enough… I’ve tried to make this better before but it’s just worse. I dont fuckin know why i ended up fucking lying to him again. I don’t think there’s any other way. I just cause him pain all the time. I just make him suffer yet he keeps on holding on. I don’t think he’s ever gonna let go and I hate that. I hate how he just lingers despite of the things ive done to hurt him. Well from now on, i think the best thing to do is just leave. And as for me… No, i’m not gonna go off fucking some other guy. And do the things ive been wanting to do. I dont even deserve any of that. I’m gonna be a better person than i am right now. I’m gonna find the reasons why i’ve been so cruel. And hopefully by then, he’ll be better. I know he won’t ever be fully better from all this. But i just hope he will be. I know along the road, somebody else will pick him up from his fall and make everything 10x better than it was with me. He’s an amazing person that any girl could ask for. I just wish that new person won’t take him for granted. Please.

Yknow, It’s gonna be fucking painful without him and i know for sure i’m always gonna miss him everyday. I love him so much but i know that its not as much as he loved me. But i loved him. More than i ever loved anyone. And i won’t ever forget him. Never, in my entire life. That, i could promise…